My art is inseparable from the coping after survival and from the gesture and actions of healing and from the love of animals. These transformations have creative potential. Because traumas must be transformed into steps of community building, common development and connection.
In 2003, I obtained my first degree (BA) in teaching with a minor in music. I earned my second degree, an MA, in pedagogy and Hungarian literature in 2008. I’ve been writing poems since 2010.
The post-communist Hungary, where I was born and which is now becoming a competitive authoritarian system, restricts artists' self-expression and existential safety in many ways. As a result, I lost my connection to art for almost a decade and a half. For a long time, I worked with the rehabilitation of traumatized dogs. In January 2024, my husband and I emigrated to Finland.
Since then, I have been teaching myself to draw and paint. The endless pine forests, exploring the archipelago, and the atmosphere of the harbors fill me with joy. I want to leave as small ecological footprint as possible, even in my creative work. That's why oil pastels and water-soluble paints appeal to me.
It is important to support the abused so that they can become survivors from victims. It is important that they have autonomy and a future. It is important that everyone has their own dignified life.
That's why my vision is to define the pieces of reality, to put them in context, to help us face them. My vision is a society where discourse on human rights is unnecessary because free participation, choice of profession, security, equality, and work-based wages free from discrimination are fundamental and integral parts of public thinking.
The more space we give to creation and the thinking that goes with it, the more people will find words and ways to express their emotions and experiences. They will be able to broaden their horizons and demonstrate their values. Belonging to a community gives joy. Art provides affirmation, friendships and a supportive atmosphere that relieves loneliness. We all want to belong to others. We want recognition. A life full of dignity and opportunities.
I think these are the building blocks of healthy personality development and, indirectly, of societies becoming adults and responsible. I would like to encourage and support my fellow women by sharing my story. To put the importance of women's and animal rights into discourse.
Felhő
My little dog will be 13 years old now before Christmas. It’s like it was yesterday when we first met. She sat quietly behind the bars of a shelter. She was 7 months old with a sick ear. "A small, white, shaggy dog." These were the words I said to her on our very first walk.
With Álmos, my other dog, they became inseparable companions. They loved each other very much. With them and because of them, I obtained my dog trainer, service dog trainer and veterinary assistant degrees. I wanted to be a good owner for them. During my time as a dog trainer, Felhő helped many other dogs and their owners learn. She calmed her fearful fellow dogs and people who were afraid of dogs. She signalled to me about the dangerous dogs' condition while I was working with them. She happily passed on all her clicker training and trick knowledge to the new dogs. After she retired, she emigrated with us to Finland. She is still enthusiastic to this day. Together with Szaladin, my husband's poodle, they enjoy long walks in the woods. Felhő climbs every rock and is delighted by the daily presence of rabbits around the house. With a serious expression on her face, she sniffs for foxes and deer, then rolls around on the ground, coating herself in their scent. She loves to sit in front of people, look at them meaningfully, and ask for a petting. I was completely touched when I realized that she had and still has another job that she took on voluntarily. She continues to do this job with great dedication to this day. I never taught her, she figured it out on her own and started doing it. As a therapy dog, she helps me cope with CPTSD. This is a complex post-traumatic stress disorder that will stay with me for the rest of my life as a consequence of my traumatic past.
I often observe Felhő and how much she loves people. And I am very happy that, with 13 years of experience, she feels and thinks that people are good. It would be nice if I could open up to them so easily. I think this process has already begun for me. By giving voice to my story, it will only accelerate.
The question of why I paint so many dogs is a bit like when I was asked in Hungary how I achieved success in rehabilitating dangerous dogs. Anyone who knows trauma from the inside and lives with its consequences on a daily basis knows exactly what it means to give a living creature personal space. What it means to let them set the pace for getting to know each other. What it means to receive calmness and predictability. What it means to receive coping strategies and understand processes. What it means to no longer be alone. Why wouldn't I paint dogs? I understood animal body language before I understood humans. For many years, they were my family.